To Love You Once Again
by Madame Merquise
Summary: Duo commits suicide, but the remaining pilots find something out about his actions.


TITLE: To Love You Once Again  
AUTHOR: Tatum Juliet Merquise  
SERIES: Gundam Wing  
RATING: R  
PAIRING: 3x4  
WARNING: Angst! Lots and lots of angst! AT (Alternate Timeline) and OOC (Out Of Character.)   
DISCLAIMERS: I don't own them, darn, so don't sue me, the only thing you'd get would be my best friend's little sister.  
  
Prologue: Standing On the Edge of Goodbye  
  
Heero sat on the side of his bed, his hands hanging limply over his knees. He struggled no to cry. The cross dangled from his left hand, light glinting off its gold surface, and the letter in the other. He read it again.  
  
Dear Heero,  
  
Well, if all's gone as I hoped it would, Shinigami's gone home! I know, I know! Stupid weak baka! But I was always that right? A dumb fucked up kid that don't know nothing; no surprise there.  
  
Do you know how many times I've lived off your strength? More than I can count for sure. Thank you for being so strong. I love you, you know that? Of course you do! I know that you do cuz I told ya so every time I got the chance to. I just wish you could have loved me too. What a pair we'd make! The sacker of Life and the God of Death.  
  
Do me a big favor? Take care of Quatre and Trowa and WuFei. They're not as big and strong as they seem to be. You know the only thing that I'm gonna regret is leaving Q-man. It's going to hurt him bad; him, I know, you other three, well, don't throw a party too soon. Don't let him cry alone, Heero. There's nothing worse than that, believe me, I know! He's going to need support, and thought since you helped me so much, maybe you could help him too. You'd probably smack me if I were there to smack for asking, but but he doesn't deserve to hurt like that, and I hate the fact that I'm the one to make him cry. Give him a big ol' smooch for me, K?  
  
Be good to yourself, Heero.  
  
Love,   
  
Duo Maxwell.  
PS: I know what you think about sentimental shit and all, so do what ever you want with the cross.  
  
  
"Heero?" Quatre said coming around the corner into the pilot of Wing Zero's room. "Oh there you are. Duo's going to be back soon and we want to get his party ready. I know you don't like things like that, but he'll get a kick out of it---" Quatre paused, stepping further into the room. "What are you doing with his cross?"  
  
Heero stood up, looking Quatre in the eye, and walked over and kissed him square on the lips, creating an electric french style kiss that left Quatre slightly weakened. That was the instant that Trowa decided to come looking for his lost love.   
  
"Yuy! What the hell are you doing?" he demanded, ripping Quatre from the mad pilot's grip.  
  
Heero threw him the now crumpled piece of paper and walked past him saying, "A last request." He disappeared down the stairs.  
  
Trowa looked at Quatre, who stumbled a little and fell against the door jamb, he shook his head in confusion.  
  
Trowa read the paper to himself before dropping it, his eyes wide and full of tears. He backed away, his back hitting the opposite wall as Quatre.  
  
"Trowa? What?" Quatre asked, picking up the paper for himself.  
  
Trowa's hand shot out and he grabbed the letter and Quatre's hand, hauling him down the stairs to where WuFei was struggling with banners.  
  
"WuFei," was all Trowa would say as he held the paper up to him.  
  
"What do you want?" WuFei said shortly, descending the latter that he was on and taking the letter from his friend. He began to read it out loud. The room was deadly silent after WuFei's words died, every breath was caught in every lung.   
  
Trowa spoke first. "He didn't think we'd care?"  
  
WuFei shook his head.   
  
Quatre was true to Duo's prediction and fell to his knees with his head in his hands, crying for all he was worth. His body shook with melancholy sobs. It didn't make sense! None of it did! Duo was happy, He laughed all the time and he always made other's laugh, uncontrollably sometimes.   
  
Heero came into the room, his face in its mask, though the normally steel features had cracks streaking down its contours. "His gundam is gone and it's not registering on any of the sensors."   
  
WuFei looked at the paper in his hands, watched it fall softly and soundlessly to the ground. "He didn't think we'd care...."  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE:   
Quatre: *Sniffle*  
  
Chapter 1: Inhabitant of the Prison Camp  
  
"Master Quatre!" Rachid called. It sounded earnest and frightened and he didn't really care. An important call had just come in from a friend not seen nor heard of since the OZ surrender.  
  
"What is it, Rachid?" Quatre asked, worry etched on his face. He descended the stairs to the foyer of his L4 home, where the captain of the Maguinacs stood with his hands on his hips.   
  
"A call from Preventer Dragon," Rachid said, motioning to the video phone on the table.  
  
Quatre's eyes widened considerably. They hadn't heard anything from WuFei for the last six years, not after the war ended and he joined the elite Preventer's with Heero and Sally Po.  
  
"I'll take in my office, and get Trowa," Quatre answered, walking briskly down the hall towards his large office. Trowa soon followed behind him.  
  
"Quatre, what is it? Rachid won't tell me," Trowa almost begged, walking in step, which was hard for him as he was also holding his bath towel on with one hand, and struggling to keep the shampoo out of his eyes with the other.  
  
Quatre said nothing, but only sat in front of his desk and flipped on the phone. The picture crackled and fuzzed before the image of a very grown up Chinese ex-pilot came on.  
  
"WuFei," Trowa gasped. He was surprised and showed it, as it was no longer necessary to carry around his mask.   
  
"Hello, Trowa. Quatre." WuFei nodded, his voice was deeper considerably, and his face was more full, no longer holding the remnants of puberty. He was a handsome sight.  
  
"How are you? We haven't heard from you in a long-"  
  
"This is not a call made for chit chat, Quatre," WuFei cut him off. "Quite on the contrary, we've found something in a recent sack of an OZ concentration camp that may hold some interest for you. A private shuttle will be sent tomorrow at noon to take you to Preventer head quarters where Yuy and I will be awaiting you." And the picture clicked off, leaving Quatre and Trowa staring with lax jaws at the screen.   
  
"What does he mean, 'Found something?'" Quatre asked.  
  
Trowa shrugged, the towel falling unnoticed to the floor. He shrugged again.  
~`~(*)~`~  
The white shuttle glinted in the bright warm light of Earth. That portion of the Space Port was deserted, and Quatre and Trowa were confused. Just as the blonde was about to ask the pilot of the shuttle, who came to stand beside them, a car pulled onto the runway. It's tinted window's shielded any curious gaze from peering inside the nice car, and its black surface was spotless, without any dust from the road. It pulled to a stop in front of the ramp leading from the shuttle to the pavement, and Trowa, as if by instinct, moved in front of his Arabian love. It's doors opened without a sound.  
  
"WuFei!" Quatre gasped. He was right, his old friend had changed! He was taller by at least three inches. His pulled back ebony hair fell down past his shoulder's now to the rippling muscle of his back just under his shoulder blades and the dark sunglasses he wore completed the ensemble of black suit. He wasn't in his normal Preventer's uniform, and by the slight smirk on his face, he was grateful.   
  
The other door opened on the opposite side of the car and another long lost figure stepped out. Heero still had his hair in the normal disarray and sported the same suit as WuFei. He loomed over WuFei at the height of 5'8". He almost seemed to smile when he saw the amazed looks on Quatre's and Trowa's faces.  
  
"Hey!" Quatre waved as he started down the ramp. He came to a stop just in front of WuFei, Heero leaning over the roof, his left foot still in the car. "How are you?"   
  
Trowa came up behind Quatre, his hand on his love's shoulder, a look of clouded knowledge on his face. "It's bad, what you've found, isn't it?"  
  
WuFei looked back at Heero, his face without emotion. Heero nodded.  
  
"We'll discuss this on the way. Please," WuFei said, moving aside so Quatre and Trowa could get into the car. Quatre sat in the back, followed by Trowa. The driver to the car stepped out and nodded to WuFei and Heero, who sat in the front seat, WuFei behind the wheel. The car started down the road and nothing was said much to Quatre's distress till they were a fair distance away from the Port.  
  
Heero turned around finally and handed both the blonde and the Latino manilla folders. They were opened and Quatre gasped, his hand coming to cover his mouth. Trowa did nothing but looked at the information and pictures he held in hands, his old mask coming into play.   
  
WuFei started. "As the news has said, there are many OZ concentration camps that the Preventer's have put out of business. In one such place, there were many of the Romafeller's highest ranking officers and some low militia men. Those that were left alive were retrieved, the dead were destroyed with the base. Among these was..." WuFei's voice trailed off, cracking suspiciously.  
  
Heero continued for him. "Among these was Duo. Apparently, he didn't succeed in his suicide, but was taken by OZ forces and held as a spy. He was kept there, from his records, for all these six years. He was found barely alive, and were it not for one of us being there, he would have been burned, thought dead like the others."  
  
Quatre couldn't say anything. His fingers went to his lips, the last request Duo had made starting to tingle on them all over again. Duo wasn't dead, but by the pictures, Quatre almost found himself wishing he was, for death would certainly be better than what OZ did to him.   
  
"Duo's," Trowa cleared his throat and spoke more loudly," Duo's alive?"  
  
WuFei nodded, able to speak once more. "Yes. He's in a hospital under Preventer protection and Yuy and I have been to see him more than once. He's been none responsive and only rocks back and forth. He seems to not know who we are and seemed to not know what the actual act of talking is, as he, for the longest time, did nothing. We interrogated one of OZ officers stationed there and he told us where we could intercept some surveillance tapes that would tell us all we would need to know about prisoner treatment."   
  
"Why weren't we called earlier?!" Quatre demanded.   
  
"Hush, love," Trowa whispered to him, pulling him into an embrace and brushing his lips over a temple. "They will tell us." He looked dangerously at Heero and WuFei, a shadow of anger flashing in his eyes only. "Won't you?"  
  
Heero averted his eyes. He didn't want to tell them this. Gods above, this was the worse part of it all, it had almost reduced him to tears! "Duo doesn't recognize us. As WuFei has said, he was none responsive, catatonic in an aware state of mind. He's not the same as we all would like to remember him and we weren't sure if you'd like to know him as he is now."  
  
"Not want to know him?!" Quatre wailed, throwing himself from Trowa's grasp. "That is a stupid thing to think, Heero! Of course we would want to know him, no matter what!"  
  
"Shh, love," Trowa said, squeezing the trembling hand on the seat. Quatre silenced himself, looking out the window at the passing road.   
"Why do you call us now?"  
  
WuFei turned on the heater, it was getting cold in that car, and he was sure that it was mostly due to Quatre's frosted heart and frozen glare. "The week before last, when Duo was alone with Heero, Heero took out the cross he was left and held it in front of Duo's eyes. Not only did Duo's heart rate pick up, but his brain waves came almost back to normal, and he grabbed the cross and talked."  
  
"No," Heero interrupted. "He mumbled. It was like a two year old would talk, hardly anything making sense. But the few things that I could make out were directed to Sister Helen and Father Maxwell."  
  
Quatre drew in a sharp breath, his gaze still as cold as the snow falling outside, but now it was laced with wonder.  
  
WuFei nodded. "We started an experiment after that. Every day, we brought in different things from the war that we still had in our possession. Every time one of them was recognized by Duo, he would become more responsive, till he formed a complete sentence."  
  
"So what does that have to do with us?" Trowa asked, his voice much smaller than he'd hoped it would be.   
  
Heero turned fully around in his seat, to where his back was to the windshield and said, "We were hoping that maybe, you could spark some set of memories in Duo that are shut off to WuFei and myself."  
  
Trowa nodded. He looked past Heero to the looming form of the Preventer Hospital approaching in the foreground. His finger's wove tightly around Quatre's as he saw that his blonde amour was seeing the same thing and shaking because of it. It was strange, the feelings both had towards Duo. Both wanted to see him again, and both dreaded it with every fiber of their being.   
  
The car pulled to a stop and the four occupants stepped out into the snow.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE:   
Duo: Mahahahahahahaha! I'm alive!  
  
Chapter 2: Walking Down the White Washed Halls  
  
Trowa sat next to Quatre on an uncomfortable couch in Une's office. Once again they were in a room with Heero and WuFei, only this time, they were joined by Noin, and Une. The room's lighting cut off and the screen of the wall-hung television glowed with life.  
  
"These are some of the tapes that were retrieved pertaining to Duo." Wufei's voice blended with the rest of the noise in the background.   
  
An image of a dark cell appeared on the screen. There was a table in the center of it that looked like it was rusted metal and was bolted to the floor. There was breathing in the room, made loud due to the sensitive microphones on the camera. A face appeared in the screen, blurred for only a moment before the camera automatically adjusted itself.  
  
Duo. "Hey, guys," he said, his normal indignant tone thick on his voice. "How's about letting me out. I gotta date with death, ya know."  
  
Quatre gripped the finger's intertwined in his. Trowa gripped back.  
  
The door to the cell opened and the bright light from the hall flooded the room and was cut off as the door shut loudly. Duo jumped down off of a chair and crossed his arms.   
  
"Wow! You guys are better than any other OZ scum! They take forever to answer personal reques- UMPH!!" Duo's words were cut short with a swift kick to his mid section. Duo crumpled to the floor, grabbing his stomach as one after another of the kicks were delivered to his torso, his face, his back, till he was a bloodied ball on the floor.  
  
Another man entered the room and helped the first lift Duo onto a table, where he was strapped down with thick leather cuffs. Duo's head rolled to one side limply.  
  
The gritty voice of one of the officers came loud over the TV. "What do you think we should do to him, Mark?"  
  
The one called 'Mark' laughed, an ugly, threatening sound. "Break him, Steven. Just like we do to every other cock-tease that's lucky enough to come our way."  
  
Quatre tightened his grip as did Trowa. Heero couldn't look at the screen and WuFei had his hand over his mouth, looking slightly green.  
  
The one called 'Steven' nodded, an evil smile playing across his lips. He took out a bottle of smelling salts and passed it under Duo's nose.  
  
Duo sputtered and shook his head, trying to escape the foul odor. "Gods!" Duo yelled. "You guys really stink bad!"   
  
Mark slapped him, blood from Duo's already smashed nose fling in the same direction his face was jerked to. "Shut the hell up, you little shit!"  
  
Steven pulled out something that glinted in the dim light of the cell.   
  
A knife! Quatre's mind screamed. His fingernails dug into Trowa's flesh till blood trickled down the floor. Trowa tightened his grip.  
  
Steven ran the flat side of the blade down Duo's cheeks, laughing as their muscles automatically twitched under the coolness of the silver. He then turned it up on it's sharp edge and cut Duo's shirt off, allowing the blade to shallowly scratch Duo's flesh. He then handed the knife to Mark, who stood on the other side of the table, and he began to cut down Duo's legs, the hard fabric of his jeans fraying. He, too, allowed the blade to slice the sensitive skin of Duo's inner thighs.   
  
Duo hissed his pain, jerking away as best he could from the blade.   
  
Mark laughed, bringing the dripping metal to his lips and his tongue flickered out to taste the blood of his captive.   
  
Steven walked slowly to the head of the little bondage table, taking the knife from Mark. He gingerly picked up Duo's braid and ran it over both his cheeks and lips. "Has anyone ever told you that hair as long as this is a liability?" he asked with sweet and soft tones.  
  
Heero struggled to breath. He hated that part of the tape more than anything because he had told Duo the same thing; that having hair so long was not only absurd, but a liability to the mission and to the war. He'd been wrong... so wrong.   
  
Duo thrashed about with all the strength he had, all the time screaming, "NO! NO! PLEASE NO!"  
  
"No?" Steven asked innocently. "No what? No this?" He brought the blade to the base of Duo's skull and made a sharp jerk upwards, the braid falling loosely through his fingers to the floor. He continued to cut Duo's hair till the brown silk was formed into a rough buzzed style, the few hidden scars on his skull protruding like little white, blind eyes to wink at the viewers of the tape.   
  
Duo's clothes were slashed away till nothing was left and he was mounted and raped. He was beaten till Steven had to once again shake him to wakefulness with the smelling salts.   
  
Quatre looked at the corner of the screen, the date reading that this took place just after Duo must have been captured.  
  
The tape split and another date appeared. It was near to three years later. The same cell was the main stage still, and breathing still sounded loudly over the speakers, only now it was wheezing and thick with illness. The door opened and the same two men entered.  
  
WuFei looked away now. Trowa's and Quatre's gazes were locked on the screen.  
  
The voice of Mark came on. "Damn. Look at that! Stupid weak kid! Sick!" Mark walked over and kicked the naked body of Duo into the view of the camera. He was gaunt and feeble looking, his hair still in that same style of buzz. He was pale from the lack of sun, as the cell boasted no window's and he was most likely never allowed out doors.   
  
Steven walked over to Duo and pulled out the same knife, though any fool could tell that was rusted with the prisoner's blood and was dull and nicked. He flipped it in his hand and held the hilt under Duo's chin, forcing the boy to look up at him. Duo shuddered and mumbled something that may have been a plea.  
  
"Shut the fuck up!" Mark shouted, his steel-toed boot connecting with Duo's chest. Blood shot through the air as Duo was lifted completely off the ground by the blow, only to yelp as he hit the floor again. He whimpered as Steven and Mark came to stand over him once more.  
  
"You do not speak," Mark ground out.   
  
"Yeah," Steven chorused. "If we wanted to hear your voice, we wouldn't have taught you other wise!" He too, kicked Duo, only this time, his boot connected with Duo's temple, and Duo was knocked out.   
  
Mark turned to Steven. "We should get him a check up. He'll die other wise, and I haven't had my fill of him yet."  
  
Steven nodded, looking deep in thought. His face brightened sinisterly and his snapped his fingers. "Doc Jacobs won't say nothing if we tell him he can have some."  
  
"You're right," Mark said as they turned and shut the door. The room was dark again.  
  
Quatre couldn't shut his eyes as more footage of Duo now under Doc Jacobs' 'knife' continued to be beaten and raped. The screen darkened as another set if footage was set in motion.  
  
Then, a loud noise sounded on the screen, and Trowa jerked his head up. The date on the screen read only a few months ago. There was a bright light as the door was pried open and a man entered. The man was thrown back from the stench of the room. He brought his flash light up and the beam drifted to Duo.   
  
Quatre and Trowa and the figure on the tape gasped in unison.   
  
Duo was huddled in the corner, no bigger than the day that they last saw him, his skin a virtual silhouette of his bones. His eyes were crusted shut from the blood that poured into them, and his breathing was gargled from some fluid that seeped into his lungs from broken ribs.  
  
The man gasped and walked into the room despite the odor. His face was shadowed, and the dark blue of his uniform glinted with splattered blood. He bent and checked Duo's vital signs. He brought a canister of water from a pocket in his pants and poured some over Duo's eyes and lips.   
  
Duo shuddered and pulled away, whimpering but saying nothing.   
  
The man took off his jacket and draped it around Duo, and brought him into his arms, Duo seeming too easy to lift.  
  
Duo still pushed away weakly, and the man walked out the door with him, darkness flooding the room, the tape still playing with the date for scant more minutes till Noin shut it off.  
  
Quatre was too shocked to cry. His heart hurt with immeasurable pain that choked him. Trowa still looked at the screen. His face showed no emotion, but the trembling of his shoulder's spoke all of what he was feeling. A thought hit him and he didn't know why he asked his next question, only that his mind would threaten to shut down completely if he didn't say something.  
  
"You said he formed a complete sentence?"  
  
WuFei didn't look up from the floor. "Yes."  
  
"What was it?" Trowa asked.  
  
Heero's voice was haunted as he spoke his answer. "'Can't believe you kept it, Hee-chan.'"  
  
Quatre looked up at his two friends with fear in his eyes. "Does he still look like that?" He pointed dumbly to the blank screen.  
  
WuFei tried to answer, but couldn't only shaking his head. Heero didn't even attempt to answer. Une took over.  
  
"No, he looks a lot better actually."  
  
Quatre jumped, his eyes big and startled, as if he forgot that the other two occupants of the room were there.   
  
Une smiled softly. Her hands were folded over her chest, though they seemed to shack slightly. "He's gotten some more meat on his bones, though he's still under what his normal weight would be. He doesn't eat as much as he should so we are forced to feed him the rest with an IV."  
  
Noin stepped forward. "I'm sorry you had to see that, but we felt it necessary to show you the tapes so you would know how much better he's doing when you see him."  
  
"When do we see him?" Trowa asked, finally looking up. His eyes were glossed over and tired looking, and the skin on his face seemed to almost hang from his bones, even his uni-bang didn't have life it as it was lax against his forehead.   
  
Noin shared glances with Une, Heero, and WuFei before nodding. "Now, if you'd like to."  
  
Quatre and Trowa rose to their feet and followed Noin down the white washed halls with Une, Heero, and WuFei in their wake.  
  
Chapter 3: The Day Shinigami Played With the Cross  
  
Noin's hand hovered above the door handle to room 453 on the seventh floor. She didn't think that they were ready to deal with Duo as he was now, not like the scared little child that had hidden itself so stealthily in the back of his mind for all those years during the war. She reluctantly opened it.  
  
Quatre walked into the room slowly, followed by Trowa, who had his hands on the blonde's hips, as if ready to pull him back and away from any danger.   
  
It was a private room with a large window on the east wall, though no light came from it as the sun had already set on the early winter evening. A lamp was lit on the far wall, sending a small round beam of light out onto coloring books of all kinds that all opened to different pages. The pictures were of lions on the savanna and of circus bears that stood balanced on wooden painted balls, there were some of old china dolls and expensive paintings one would only find the real copies of in museums. Each one was colored to perfection, none of the bright shades protruding from the lines.   
  
A noise brought Trowa's attention away from the coloring books to a rocking chair in the opposite corner as the lamp. The figure on it held his knees to his chin, rocking back and forth, looking out the window. His hair was slightly grown in, though no where as long as even Heero's. The tubes leading to an IV ran along the tiled floor.   
  
Quatre's breath caught in his throat as he found himself wanting to lunge forward and wrap his arms around Duo's form and kiss him goodbye and hello all at the same time. But he couldn't as Heero's words flooded back to his mind, 'He doesn't remember any of us...'  
  
Instead, Wufei walked around them and flipped on the light.  
  
Duo jumped and ran to the bed, flinging himself under the covers and pulling them up over his head. "Sorry! Sorry!" He yelled out.  
  
His voice was different. It had changed, though not how one would think. True, puberty had made it somewhat deeper. But it also sounded dry and small.   
  
Heero walked forward this time and stopped at the side of Duo's bed.  
  
"Duo," He said in monotone. His hands came up behind his neck and he unclasped something that neither Trowa nor Quatre had noticed: it was Duo's necklace. He held it over Duo's head, swinging it slightly from side to side.   
  
Duo's head pocked out from under the covers and he smiled impossibly big as he reached up to take it.   
  
Heero pulled it out of his grasp. Duo pouted but sat up, his head bowed and his hands in his lap. He looked like a puppy being scolded.  
  
WuFei came to sit on the other side of the bed where Heero stood. Duo scooted closer to him and leaned his head on the darkly clad shoulder. "Duo," WuFei said gently.  
  
"Yeah-huh?" Duo answered.   
  
"Do you remember Quatre and Trowa?"  
  
Duo looked over to the door.   
  
Quatre almost gasped. Duo was so pale! He looked like he hadn't seen the sun for years! His irises were just as pale as his skin, though it was obvious he was not blind, and he was skinny. Quatre found it hard, even after the video, to picture Duo looking any worse.  
  
Duo scratched his head. "Nope."  
  
Trowa took an involuntary step back. At least he can speak again.  
  
Heero sat down on the bed as well. Duo looked at the cross out of the corner of his eyes, and made a grab for it. Heero pulled it away. Duo made a cry of distress and cuddled closer to WuFei.   
  
Heero spoke. "You don't remember them at all?"  
  
Duo shook his head.   
  
"They used to be your friends."  
  
"Like you two were?" Duo asked, still eyeing the cross.  
  
"Yes," WuFei nodded. He motioned for Quatre and Trowa to come further into the room.   
  
~oO@Oo~  
  
Une and Noin closed the door.   
  
Noin sighed and shook her head. "I hate seeing him like that!"  
  
"I know what you mean. He used to be such a capable pilot," Une agreed.   
  
They turned and walked down the hall.  
  
~oO@Oo~  
  
Quatre slowly stepped forward, only Trowa's hands on his hips moving him anymore into the room. They came to rest at the foot of the hospital bed.  
  
Duo looked at them, his attention only momentarily shifted from the cross. He moved further back into WuFei's embrace, apprehension shadowing his features. He looked like a child dared to enter some haunted neighborhood house, uncertainty and fear lurking within.  
  
WuFei kissed the crown of his head and tightened his hold, offering silent support.  
  
Quatre blinked back the tears that threatened to fall and reached back and pulled out his wallet. He opened that and retrieved his most favorite picture from it and handed it to Duo.  
  
Duo looked at it skeptically before taking it. He bit his lip as he looked at it.   
  
It was of a summer day right after it had rained on one of Quatre's largest Earth estates.   
  
*FLASH BACK*  
  
The five Gundam pilots were all going for a picnic and Duo had decided to throw a mud ball at WuFei. The said pilot of Shinigami ran like hell froze over when WuFei came after him, pinning him to the ground and retaliating with his Capri Sun, squirting it all up and down Duo's face.   
  
During the actual picnic, WuFei grumbled on and on about how there was no justice in the world and 'what kind of bologna sandwich doesn't have Mayo on it.'   
  
"Is it my fault you used up all of your drink?" Duo asked as he took an extra long gulp of his own Capri Sun.   
  
WuFei snarled at him and threw his remaining sandwich in the bushes, only to grumble later about how picnics always attract ants.  
  
Quatre had whined just once about how he doesn't have enough pictures of everyone before Trowa forced everyone to smile in the photograph, including Heero, though it was more of a snarl than an actual smile.   
  
*BACKFLASH*   
  
Duo bit his lip as he ran one finger over the faces of each person in the picture. His other hand went back to the nape of his neck as he rubbed it, sad to feel there was no trace of the beautiful braid that blew in the wind, frozen for all time in the photograph. Tears welled in his eyes and he buried his head once again in the safety of WuFei's suit. He sniffled as he threw it away from him.  
  
WuFei sighed, wrapping his arms around Duo and rocking him back and forth. Duo had once thought that he meant nothing to him, and the Chinese youth was determined to make new memories. He was sure that Duo remembered his braid, and most likely liked to snuggle WuFei because he had long hair. WuFei had even let Duo play with it, looking like he wanted to braid it, but not quite remembering how. As mentally predicted, Duo's fingers wound themselves in WuFei's pony tail.  
  
Trowa picked up the photograph and handed it back to Quatre, who put it back in his wallet.  
  
"Hello, Duo," Quatre said. It came out as a strangled whisper.  
  
"Hello," Trowa said as well.  
  
"Hey," Duo said softly, his voice muffled by the fabric of WuFei's jacket. Duo started to cough some, their ferocity increasing with each intake of breath.   
  
Heero reached over to the table and took from it a glass of water and held it to Duo's lips. Duo drank it down gratefully, gulping and taking in every last drop of the liquid.   
  
It was odd, seeing Heero and WuFei so gentle. Seeing them take care of Duo like that was an arresting thought. Quatre smiled.  
  
"What cha smilin' for?" Duo asked, a confused wrinkle coming to focus on his forehead.   
  
"I just think it's kawaii," Quatre replied.  
  
Duo laughed softly as WuFei uncharacteristically blushed and Heero suddenly found the floor very interesting. "I think I liked you a lot before. Did I?'  
  
Quatre's smile faded somewhat. He nodded his head. "We used to be best friends," he whispered.  
  
"Oh." Duo's attention was once more on the gold cross in Heero's hand. He licked his lips as he grabbed for it.  
  
Heero pulled it away.  
  
"Aw! Come on! Please?!" Duo begged. "It's mine anyway!"  
  
Heero looked at him, his expression leaning towards surprise. "Do you remember that?"  
  
"Yeah, kinda." Duo said, still looking at the glittering chain and symbol. "And I had it on it that picture."  
  
"He's right, Heero," Trowa said softly. "It is his."  
  
Heero glared at Trowa and handed over the cross. Duo squealed with joy and jumped up and down. He took the chain and let the cross dangle, flicking it to where it turned in circles, watching with apt fascination as the artificial light of the room glinted off its surface.   
  
Heero and WuFei motioned Quatre and Trowa out of the room.  
  
Before Heero could shut the door, Duo scrambled out of the bed and caught the door before it clicked shut. He had a worried and scared expression on his face.   
  
"You're coming back, right?" Duo asked, holding the door open with an iron grip. "Did I do something wrong? Do you want it back?" He gestured with the cross.  
  
The corner's of Heero's mouth quarked up slightly in pain and slightly in sadness. He covered Duo's hand with his own. "No, Duo, you did nothing wrong. We'll be right back in."  
  
Duo's expression lightened and he smiled again, bigger and brighter than ever. He waved over Heero's shoulder to Quatre and Trowa. "Nice meeting you!" And he did a running jump onto the bed, allowing the door to shut and the hospital gown to fly up.  
  
Quatre shuddered and fell against the wall. His head fell into his hands and a small sob escaped him.   
  
Trowa came to his side and pulled him into a warm embrace. "He's better?" he asked skeptically.  
  
WuFei nodded. "At first, he would tighten into a small ball when we touched him, and now, well, you saw it with your own eyes."  
  
"It's hard to believe that's Duo," Quatre cried. He buried his face in the nook of neck and shoulder and wove his hands tightly around his love.  
  
"You should have seen him in that room," Heero said, almost too quiet to hear, as if he meant that no one should hear it.  
  
Quatre looked at him. "That was you? The one that took him from there?"  
  
Heero nodded slowly. He closed his eyes, the stench of feces and old sex in the room coming back to haunt him. He shook the sense of it out of his head.  
  
The door opened slightly, and a pale lavender eye pocked out, followed by a nose and another eye. "Uh, Hee-chan?"  
  
Heero turned around and crossed his arms over his chest, looking sternly at Duo. "You're supposed to be in bed."  
  
"Yeah, well," Duo laughed. "Can I have some cake?"  
  
Heero kept the same expression on his face. "You really like that hospital food?"  
  
Duo smiled widely and nodded vigorously.  
  
Quatre stepped forward. "Um, Heero, WuFei, can I speak to you real fast?"  
  
WuFei nodded, and walked over to the blonde, followed by Heero who gave Duo a fierce warning to stay put or else.  
  
"Is he allowed to leave the hospital?" Quatre asked.  
  
Heero looked back at Duo, who yelped and ran back to his place at the door. "Yes, why?"  
  
"Well, I used to vacation here as a child and there's this small deli on the broadway, and they have the best cakes and pastries anyone can ever eat," Quatre said, a small smile playing across his lips.  
  
WuFei looked over to Duo, who yelped and ran back to his place at the door.  
  
"He's going to need someone from the hospital to go with him," WuFei answered, keeping his gaze on Duo, who whistled as best as he could remember to, looking innocent.  
  
"You have the rest of Duo's recuperation time off," a female's voice broke Heero's next words. The four in the huddle turned to look at Une, who leaned against the wall.  
  
"What?" Heero asked, his mild surprise not showing up on his face.  
  
"You have the rest of Duo's recuperation time off," Une repeated, walking down the hall. She glanced back. "No argument."  
  
Heero turned back to Quatre. "What time can you two make it?"  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE:  
(Tatum Juliet -Also know as 'Juliet'- walks out on stage, hands in pocket. Turns and faces audience.)  
Juliet: I have nothing to say.   
(Walks off.)  
  
Chapter 4: Devil's Cake on Broadway  
  
Duo walked down the street, turning over and over, making sure his friends were behind him, and then walking up to strangers, and shaking their hands, every time saying, "Look at my new clothes!"  
  
It was true, Duo had new clothes, as Quatre had provided, saying that it's most inappropriate to wear a hospital gown outside of a hospital. Duo didn't have on his customary black priest out fit, as all four thought that might bring back bad memories, but was, instead, garbed in an ensemble of everyone's clothes. His pants were, in fact, the old black ones, as he hadn't grown at all, only now he had to wear a belt to keep them up, WuFei's old black shirt with the gold dragon on the front of it, Heero's old blue jean jacket on, and Trowa's old trench coat on. His head was protected by one of Quatre's old ball caps that he had had from when he was a child.   
  
"Duo!" Quatre called to him. Duo spun round and looked at him with happy eyes. Quatre smiled and pointed up to a sign that said, 'Papa's Pastries.'  
  
"Whoops!" Duo yelled happily, running back and inside the shoppe. He gaped at the shelves aligned with numerous kinds of rolls, cup cakes, cakes, pies, and donuts. He licked his lips, looking much like the small five-year-old standing with his nose pressed against the window.  
  
"What would you like?" Trowa asked him, leading him to the front counter.   
  
Duo was still engrossed in all of the smells that lifted themselves to his nostrils, playing with his mind.   
  
Trowa laughed to himself.  
  
Duo looked at him, slightly startled. "I never remember you laughing!"  
  
That marked Trowa's turn to look surprised. "You remember?"  
  
Duo opened his mouth a few times, and each time, it shut with a small snap. He finally gave up and shrugged. "Uh, that one!" Duo exclaimed, pointing to the picture on the wall hanging just over and behind the register.   
  
Trowa nodded. He'd have to talk to Quatre and them about that later. He looked at the sixteen-year-old girl that stood ogling at him. "A Devil's cake, please."  
  
The girl flushed as she realized she'd been staring and she began to log the order. "$2.85 please," she said.   
  
Trowa handed her the change. Quatre walked up behind him with a jelly role in his hands, the thick red substance spilling from a slat in the bottom.  
  
"Oi! Trowa! This is so good, you have to try this!" Quatre said, laughing at his attempt to keep it off the floor.   
  
Trowa smiled a smile he only kept for Quatre and took his mussed and sticky hand, licking the red blotches from it. Quatre smiled and kissed him deeply, his arms winding around the taller body, though the embrace was a funny sight as Quatre kept his hands outstretched as not to smudge the green turtle neck his love wore.  
  
The sail's girl growled.  
  
Duo took his cake and plopped down in the same booth WuFei and Heero were currently drinking coffee at. He grabbed up Heero's cup and took a sip, then another, his eye's becoming larger by the second.   
  
WuFei looked at him with fright-filled orbs. "Oh gods, he's rediscovered caffeine."  
  
Heero grabbed the cup away, careful not to slosh it onto both himself, and Duo.   
  
"Aw, can I have some?" Duo begged, his eyes becoming almost chibi-like.  
  
Heero flipped WuFei a quarter.   
  
"Why do I have to get it?" WuFei flipped the coin back.  
  
Heero flipped it back to him. "I'm walled in." He pointed to Duo who munched with wonder on the dark chocolate cake. "Besides, she likes you." Heero pointed then to the sails girl next to the one that ogled over Trowa with what might be considered as a smirk.  
  
WuFei grumbled and rose to get the cup.  
  
Duo paused, looking up with a full and open mouth at the couple outside the large front window. They were arguing, the male, who looked around thirty, grasped onto the woman's arm, who was obviously his wife, and shook her till her neatly bunned hair was disheveled. She squawked and cried out for him to stop, but he only shook her harder. The store's manager stepped out with two of the employees and threatened to call the police if they didn't move their dispute down the street. The man shook the woman once more, and, never releasing his punishing grip on her arm, moved out of view.  
  
Heero looked back at Duo only to see him tremble with eyes full of tears. He finally swallowed his mouthful of cake and set his head in his hands and rocked back and forth with abrupt movements. Heero began to rub his back soothingly.  
  
Trowa looked over to the table after receiving his change and after breaking his kiss with his koi to see Heero leaning over a crumpled Duo, whispering something to him, rubbing his back lightly.   
  
Quatre's gaze followed Trowa's and a frown creased his brow. WuFei was half way to the counter when he saw the looks on Trowa's and Quatre's faces, and he turned around, his expression now equaling that of his two friends. They all flocked over to the table, and sat down in it; WuFei on the other side of Duo, Trowa and Quatre on the opposite side of the table.   
  
WuFei began to rub Duo's left arm, the one closest to him, as well as his back. He leaned in and whispered to him, his questions echoing those of Heero's.  
  
"Are you all right?" Both asked. "What is it, Duo?"  
  
Duo shuddered and shook his head, never once raising his gaze from the table. His eyes were closed tightly shut, and his fists were clenched in fear.   
  
"Duo," Quatre said, reaching over the table, speaking in low, hushed tones. "What is it? We can't help if you don't tell us."  
  
Duo shook his head again, his lips pressing together to form one tight white line. Tears glistened under his tightly closed lids. He shook his head once more.  
  
Wufei sighed. He took off his watch and passed it by Duo's hands, making sure that its cool surface brushed his skin. He brought it up to Duo's ear.  
  
Trowa and Quatre watched in fascination as Duo's body began to loosen up, his now lax fingers tapping the table top in time with the ticks. He opened his hand and grabbed the watch, holding tightly to it.  
  
Heero and WuFei had explained earlier that anything that seemed to have life in it, something that sparkled or shined, Duo loved. It all seemed to make him feel better, so if they ever needed him to calm down, they should give him something that glinted or made a noise.  
  
Their remedy worked wonders.  
  
WuFei spoke to him softly now. "What happened, Duo?"  
  
"Mark..." Duo uttered, the volume of his voice barely over the sound of his breathing.   
  
Heero snarled. He wanted to jump over the table and murder that swine with the same tricks he used to murder the old Duo. But he couldn't. Not only was Duo and WuFei blocking his path, but Duo needed him at the moment, and he was determined to make Duo feel safe.   
  
WuFei's hand squeezed the table. He, as well, wanted the inu dead, very slowly brought to that too, but he would stay with Duo. He hated the way Duo seemed broken like that whenever something happened around him that reminded him of his six years at the prison camp. He recoiled into himself, turned into a small, frightened child that hardly spoke, hardly smiled, and wouldn't raise his eyes to look at you any higher than the collar of your shirt.  
  
Trowa pulled Quatre to him, protecting him. He felt a pang of fear for his love who was weaker in mind and body than Duo was, and he was determined to keep him from harm.   
  
Quatre's heart ached. He saw Duo's face as he looked up from the gold that glinted to in his hands and became rigid again, a sound of tinkling heard from under the table. Heero and WuFei moved back and away. They looked from the seat to the window, spying what ever scared Duo enough to make him pee himself. Another man with deep blonde hair stood in the window, his hands in his pockets, and his face held the most frightening smirk imaginable. His mouth formed the silent words, "So there you are," and he threw his head back with a maniacal laugh. He looked back in the shoppe and mouthed, "We'll be seeing you," and he pointed straight at Duo, who shook again, the watch smashed in his hands, it's glass face cutting into his palm. Then, the figure of Steven was gone, disappearing like an apparition from the window.   
  
WuFei took off his coat and wrapped it around Duo's midsection as he, along with Heero, Quatre and Trowa in tow, led the stunned boy from the shoppe.  
  
Trowa hailed a cab, and with his arm hugging Quatre tightly to him, he opened the door for Heero and WuFei.   
  
Heero got in first, then Duo, who sat on his lap, then WuFei, followed by Quatre. And Trowa took his place in the front seat and gave the driver directions, and the taxi full of ex-gundam pilot's slowly disappeared in the midday snow fall towards the Preventer hospital.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE:  
Duo: I can't believe she made me pee myself. Yuck. Just yucky.  
Heero: *smirk*  
  
Chapter 5: A Rebirth of Dreams  
  
Duo was doing better. He, unfortunately, was banned from leaving the hospital till further notice by Une. It had been nearly four months since the incident with his former captors, and Duo was back to his old self.  
  
He smiled and laughed and played around, even playing a prank once and a while. But it was a false sense of joy, and they all knew it.  
  
"He actually said that?" WuFei asked.   
  
Trowa nodded. This was the first time, during one of Duo's psychiatric exams, did he actually have the time to tell them what Duo had said to him in the pastry shoppe.   
  
"I asked him if he remembered, and he shrugged," Trowa explained. "He never said anything either way."  
  
Heero stood against one of the two trees standing in the middle of the hospital estate, looking out over the small duck pond on the rise not even ten feet away from him. A duckling darted under the water, momentarily disappearing from sight. "I think he does remember. Everything."  
  
"Then why does he act like he doesn't?" Quatre asked. It was mid-Spring and the animal's had returned, though it wasn't quite warm enough to be outside without a wind breaker.   
  
"Perhaps because he doesn't want to face what he remembers," Trowa offered, and Heero and WuFei nodded in agreement.  
  
"What do we do then?" Quatre almost demanded. He was frantic over finding a way to bring Duo back.   
  
"Force him to bring his knowledge to the surface," Heero answered in monotone.   
  
"Yes," WuFei said, leaning against the other tree, "But how?"  
  
"Good question," Trowa said.   
  
"Heya guys!" Duo yelled to them from the top of the hill. He started down it in a full run, his now full head of hair blowing in the slight breeze his momentum caused. He no longer wore the normal hospital dress, as Quatre wouldn't stand for that anymore, and sported a dark blue sweater and blue jean pants that were slightly baggy and hung down in the crotch, though not low enough to be considered sagging. He also wore designer sunglasses that were a see through light blue, completing the ensemble of blue.   
  
"We'll continue this conversation later," Heero said, watching Duo descend.   
  
Duo came to a screeching halt just before WuFei, making the chinese youth take a cautionary step to the side. Duo smiled gratefully at him before stealing his place leaning against the tree. WuFei glared at him.  
  
Quatre's expression brightened somewhat before he stood and brushed himself off. "I have some things to tend to, I'll be back," he excused himself.  
  
Trowa watched him with confusion before turning his attention back to the American. "How was your check up?"  
  
Duo sighed dramatically before slinking to the ground, his head falling forward.   
  
WuFei almost laughed. "That bad, huh?"  
  
"Yes!" Duo shouted in exasperation. "Can't those shrinks ever learn that I don't want to have anything to do with them?"  
  
Heero eyed him suspiciously. "Are you afraid of what they might find out?"  
  
Duo turned on him, some of the old malice in his glare. "No, Hee-chan, I am not, I just don't like people poking around my head like that."  
  
Heero smirked. "Why?"  
  
Duo stood up abruptly and stared Heero down for all he was worth. "None of your business, Heero." And he walked away, his hands in his pockets, and his head down.  
  
Heero raised a brow.   
  
WuFei sighed and walked after him. "Duo," he said once he caught up with him, "What's the matter?"  
  
Duo kept walking, his gaze never leaving the greenish brown grass under his feet. He kicked the ground and said nothing.  
  
"Duo, what is it?" WuFei gently pushed.   
  
Duo stopped, though he still kept his eyes downcast. "Nothing."  
  
WuFei looked at him skeptically. "That was not nothing." He pointed back at Heero and Trowa, both watching them intently.  
  
"I hate this!" he said, bringing his arms defensively around his chest.   
  
"What?" WuFei asked again, after Duo paused for a long time.  
  
"I hate it when they talk to me like I should remember something. Can't they understand that I can't remember anything?" Duo said in a sobbing breath.  
  
WuFei sighed. "Duo, look at me."  
  
Duo raised his eyes, though he didn't look any higher than WuFei's collar.   
  
"In the eye, Duo."  
  
Duo reluctantly raised his gaze.  
  
"We all want you to remember. It's important that you do," WuFei told him softly.  
  
"But why? It hurts to remember," Duo answered him, his arms tightening over his chest.   
  
"I know it does, but it's not very fun only knowing half of your past, ecspecially when it's a bad half, is it?" WuFei said, though in his mind, he didn't really believe it. All of Duo's life was bad.  
  
"No," Duo shook his head, his eyes fell to the ground again.  
  
WuFei brought his hand under Duo's chin and raised his gaze. "Look at me, Duo."  
  
Duo jerked his chin away and started walking again, only to stop a few steps away with his back to WuFei. "And what if I told you that I could remember it all? What then?"   
  
"What do you mean?" WuFei asked him sternly. He was sure that Duo could remember some, but how much was cut off from him because his already frail mind could no longer take it? Although what Heero said did make sense... WuFei came to stand behind Duo, his hand on the shaking shoulder.  
  
"Nothing. Just that if I said that I could remember, would I still have to go to those head doctors? I hate doctors." Duo shuddered and WuFei knew that he must picture almost all doctors with that Jacobs man.   
  
"Yes, I suppose you would still have to go for a while to sort it all out. But after that, then I don't see why you would need it."  
  
Duo turned around and threw himself into WuFei's arms, startling the Chinese and throwing him backwards. He righted himself and held Duo.   
  
"But I don't want to remember!" Duo wailed. He clung fiercely to WuFei, desperate for some anchor to reality. "Those things are bad and they scare me! I hate it all!"  
  
"Shh, Duo, no need to cry. Shh," WuFei cooed, stroking his hair that bushed under his fingers.   
  
Duo held fast to him for scant moments longer till he felt Heero's arms weave themselves around him. He turned in the embrace and his head rested on Heero's chest, hearing the air pass through his lungs and hearing his heart beat, almost able to feel the blood passing through his veins.   
  
Heero looked over Duo's head to WuFei, who stood with Trowa. WuFei shook his head in melancholy.   
  
Duo's body shook with sobs. Don't they get it?! It's so much easier to just be weak and not have to worry about anything, not have to think about it!   
  
Oh gods, Heero, you're so warm. You still smell a little bit like gunpowder and cologne, you know that? And I still love you... Duo tightened his grip.   
  
Heero kissed the crest of Duo's head, not knowing why. He hugged Duo close to him, softly rubbing his back as it shivered violently with tears under his hands.   
  
Quatre walked up to him, worry creased his brow. "Is he all right?" he whispered to Trowa.  
  
Trowa's arm snaked around him. He shook his head in confusion.   
  
"Duo?" Quatre's still alto voice lilted.  
  
"Huh?" Duo asked from the folds of Heero's jacket.  
  
"You need to go and pack. You're leaving."  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE:  
Juliet: And the plot thickens.  
Duo: You are one weird chikidy.  
Juliet: Sure, but that's what my fans love about me.  
Anonymous fan: We love you!  
Juliet: (Triumphant grin) See?  
Duo: (Grumbles)  
  
  
Chapter 6: The Day Heaven Rejoiced  
  
Duo was walking outside the large estate in Arizona. It was another hot day in the desert and Duo was after a snake in the brush. It wasn't a big snake, quite young, truly, and non-lethal, and it had hissed at him one to many times.   
  
He and his four friends had lived at the large house for nearly a year, and he was feeling safe and completely at home there. He had his own room, though he hardly slept there. More often than not, he would be found during the waking hours of the morning in the hammock that stood on the back patio, and Heero or WuFei would be called to carry him back to his bed.   
  
Many physical changes had happened to him as well. He had begun to fill out his clothes, building his muscles back up, and his hair was now a little past his shoulders. WuFei cut his hair to the same length as Duo's to make him feel better. And it did. The other's, mainly Heero, still taught him like he would disappear at any time, always following him, never letting him be alone for long. Absently, Duo wondered where his shadow was.  
  
"Damn!" Duo cursed aloud as the snake dodged under a large rock. "Well, crap."  
  
"Duo, don't curse, it's a bad habit."  
  
"Quatre!" Duo shouted in happy relief. He was a small bit angry that he had allowed Quatre to startle him.  
  
Quatre laughed and came up beside him. "What are you chasing now?"  
  
Duo looked into the dark crevasse below the rock. "A snake."  
  
"Oh yuck!" Quatre exclaimed, taking an automatic step back. "Those are nasty!"  
  
Duo looked up and grinned at him. "For sure! That's why I like them. And besides, you don't want me to let it crawl into yours and Tro-man's bed tonight, do you?"   
  
Duo laughed till his face and chest hurt at the yelp and little boogie dance Quatre did, his face resembling that of a person that just ate something they didn't really want to eat.   
  
"That was so damn funny!" Duo brushed a tear from his sun-kissed cheek. "What a classic!"   
  
"Ha ha, very funny," Quatre admonished, "Listen, Heero and WuFei have been called back to work for an assignment, and Trowa has to go take care of the circus for Catherine for a while, so it looks like it's just going to be you and me for about a month."   
  
Duo's eyes got wide and he took off in a full run towards the house, leaving Quatre calling after him in his wake.  
~(*)~   
"You're not really leaving, are you?!" Duo yelled at Heero as soon as he was inside the room, only to see... it was true. Heero's things were all aligned perfectly on the bed, being packed into an already half full suitcase.   
  
Heero looked up and would have smirked at the dusk dulling Duo's hair had he not seen that look of desperate fear in Duo's eyes.  
  
"I've been called back. I'll only be gone for a while. Duo, what's the matter?" Heero answered, watching Duo slouch and walk to a pulled out chair that belonged to his desk.  
  
"I don't want you to go," Duo told him softly, his head falling to his chest.  
  
Heero's brow creased. He didn't like the way Duo clinged solely to him. At the beginning weeks of staying in the old safe house, the one that Duo was last in before the camp, Duo wouldn't leave his side, always nervous about shadows. It was obvious that he remembered the place somewhat by the way he looked at things, even the way he walked around outside the house, always knowing where things were hid.  
  
"Duo," Heero came to kneel before Duo, his hands resting on Duo's knees. "Why?"  
  
Duo closed his eyes tightly, faint tears brimming in them. "Because."  
  
"Because why?" Heero gently urged.  
  
Duo spoke his last sentence so quietly that Heero had to think for a moment whether or not it was thought to him or actually said. "Because I love you."  
  
Heero gasped involuntarily. Had he just heard...?! "What?" he asked in a voice much smaller than he'd hoped.  
  
Duo clenched his fists, his eyes shut tighter. "I love you."   
  
He had heard it! Oh gods! Oh shit! Oh mother fucking hell! Heero swallowed the lump in his throat, the words of Duo's letter coming back to visit him: 'I just wish you could have loved me too.'   
  
"Duo, I... I don't..." //I don't know what to say! What to do!// Heero's mind screamed frantically at him. "I-"  
  
"Look, don't," Duo interrupted him. He stood and walked over the door. His eyes were still downcast, though one could easily tell by the tears that escaped them that he was hurting, as his fingers grasped the handle in pained resignation. "It doesn't matter anyway. Just be safe and come back." Duo shut the door behind him.   
  
Heero stood with his mouth open and working, though no sound came from it. The door opened again, only this time, it was WuFei.  
  
"Let's go."  
  
Heero nodded and picked up his bag.   
~`~(*)~`~  
Two weeks had passed and there was no word from Heero or WuFei, though Trowa called regularly. Duo was sad. He had told him. He had confessed it all. His heart still stung and every time he thought of his words, (which was regularly) he would find a hiccuping sound coming from his throat and feel hot tears falling down his cheeks. Quatre asked him what was wrong more often that not, and Duo would shrug it off and say he missed Heero and WuFei. That wasn't a lie, because he did miss them, terribly, but for very different reasons.   
  
The mid-August night was as warm as all the others, and there were no clouds in the sky. Quatre smiled and sighed at the sight of Duo brushing his hair in front of his bedroom mirror.   
  
"Duo," Quatre started into the room.  
  
"Yeah?" Duo said. He set the brush down and turned to look at Quatre with a smile in eyes. Quatre could tell it was forced.  
  
"There's an eclipse tonight, and I was thinking how mush you used to like that stuff. Would you like to watch it with me?" Quatre asked, leaning on the wall beside the dresser.  
  
Duo smiled, a real one this time, and nodded his head happily.  
  
"Good," Quatre said. "It starts in about an hour. I'll call you when we need to go."   
  
"K, Q-man," Duo told him, rummaging through his draws for a shirt.   
~(*)~   
Quatre waited for Duo at the foot of the stairs. He held two blankets in his arms, though he was sure that they would only need them to lay on, due to the thermometer reading eighty-five degree's outside.   
  
"Let's go!" Duo quipped, walking down the stairs. Quatre gasped softly. Duo did make a sight. He wore his hair down and it brushed against his shoulders that were clad in dark vermilion, and his pants that were black and, for once, hugged his legs all the way down, showing off perfectly the natural sashay his hips took on.  
  
"Uh, yeah," Quatre blushed as he found himself staring. "Come on then! It's about to start." And they left the house to a rock formation on the west side of the house.  
  
Duo's digital watch read 11:17pm when the first of the moon was covered, and 11:39pm when it blacked out completely, a bright yellow rim shone around it, seeming to burn with the tears of heaven.  
  
"Wow, that is really neat," Duo said dreamily. He looked over, expecting to see his blonde friend, but saw nothing, as it was too dark to see past the end of one's own nose. "Q?" he asked, feeling for him. He wasn't there. Surely he would have told Duo if he was leaving somewhere, Quatre was never one to leave and not tell. Duo became frantic. He searched around the blanket a good ten feet out, calling as loud as his constricting throat would allow, but there was no answer.  
  
As the moon was uncovered, Duo saw three figures; one was struggling to hold one much smaller than itself, holding something that glinted in the brightening light.   
  
A blade, Duo thought in the back of his mind.  
  
And the other was standing beside him, grinning madly. Duo recognized that grin. His blood ran cold and he was frozen to the earth that seemed to engulf his legs as Mark walked closer to him.  
  
"Run," he warned, "or scream or do anything that you know I wouldn't like, and the young meat is dead." He motioned back to Quatre.  
  
Duo couldn't breath. They were here. They were right in front of him. He couldn't run or scream or do anything even if he wanted to.   
  
Mark came to stand before him, his face looming over Duo's, and he ran a callused finger down Duo's cheek. "It took us a long time to find you again, my pretty pretty pretty."  
  
Duo drew in a sharp breath at the contact. His eyes grew large and Mark laughed. Suddenly, as if through a haze, Duo heard a screech as Steven did something to Quatre.  
  
"Quatre!" Duo lunged forward, but he was stopped by Mark grabbing his hair.   
  
"I thought we told you that long hair was a liability!" he snapped. Duo's body flung back to him, and absently, Duo felt an arm come around him and an unseen gun press to his temple.   
  
I have to get to him! Quatre can't stand this! He never could stand stuff like this! Hold on, buddy! I'm right here and won't let them do anything to you!   
  
Duo's eyes searched the ground by him for a weapon, any weapon, but there was nothing but the pale dirt sparkling in the moon's full light. Nothing. What to do?! What to do?!   
  
"Don't go getting any ideas," Steven's voice lilted. Quatre yelped. "We can fuck ya just as good when you're dead."  
  
Duo ceased his struggles and went limp.  
  
"Not that easy, you little coward, wake up!" Mark jerked him.  
  
Duo did nothing but flopped about like a rag doll.  
  
"Steven, why don't you see if you can help him wake up," Mark snarled.  
  
"Only too happy to oblige, Mark." And Steven began to grope Quatre, and Quatre screamed, his voice filled with tears. Steven pressed the same blade used so long ago on Duo to his throat and made a small slash there, only deep enough to cut the skin and cause minor pain. Quatre whimpered into silence.  
  
"NO!" Duo screamed, coming out of his act. He lunged forward again, only to be jerked back by the still punishing hold on his mane. He yelped as he crashed into Marks body.  
  
"So, you're awake. Good." Mark's tongue flickered out into Duo's ear, and Duo pulled away from the assault.   
  
"Don't hurt him, please," Duo begged. "I'll do anything. Just please, leave him alone."  
  
Steven dragged Quatre over. "Why? Are you his whore too? Or is he yours?"  
  
"You can have me, just don't hurt him," was all Duo would say.  
  
"Deal. But you just remember, one of us will have a knife to his gullet at all times," Mark hissed.   
  
Duo nodded.   
~(*)~   
Quatre cried when Duo was taken over and over again. He could do nothing to stop it and it was happening to him only because Duo had made a deal. Quatre felt useless.  
  
With one last piercing cry, Steven convulsed and collapsed on Duo. Duo's body was a beaten bloody lump under him, gashes from the still dull blade running up and down his body. Steven licked up the blood that tracked down Duo's cheek to the dust below.  
  
"Still so tight," Steven laughed gruffly.  
  
The next moments were a blur. Duo screamed out the same cry that he released so many years ago and ripped his tied hands apart, his fingers twining through the sweaty mop of hair that was above him and his wrists making a savage twist, the sound of bone breaking was deafening i 


End file.
